The Generation With Almost Relationships

"Millennials don’t believe in love. It is a much more selfish generation."

Sometimes I wonder why are we so broken? Is it just me or just people around me or is it our entire generation? Is it because we are the hookup generation, the generation that believes in almost relationships, the generation that was born with an innate sense of discontent, the generation of social media, the plastic generation, the generation that likes to complicate everything, the generation that likes drama?

But then the hard truth is that — almost relationships can hurt as much as real relationships do, because connection with someone isn’t measured with time. If you vibe with someone, you just vibe! Sometimes, that bond can prosper over the years and sometimes you may bump into another human, and you just know there is a connection. I think relationships and connections do not come with a rulebook. And if you think this through, can there ever be rules for the heart?

Because if there really were rules, I wish all of us to end up with someone we feel the deepest and most meaningful connection with. I wish we would never have to break our hearts to keep someone else’s safe. I wish no one experiences one sided and unrequited love. I wish everyone feels wanted, appreciated, respected and loved in every relationship. I wish most of the chapters of our lives to be full of love and very few with uncomfortable and dizzying memories. I wish all pages to complete their story, when we are ready. I wish no incomplete endings, and no stories ending in the middle of the book. I wish each one of us with concrete endings and concrete closures. That is how my wishful thinking works, but then I ponder, isn’t a story that ends in the middle, a part of closure too?

Because it is still an ending after all.

And when we hold some hurt inside us, which circumvents us from loving another human beautifully and with each inch of our human heart, we fall into almost relationships. All of us wish to be loved and chosen, again and again, and when that does not happen, we make-do with being almost loved and almost chosen. We are so satisfied with the almost, that we evade the journey to set out and discover someone who is worthy. We end up choosing inconsistent partners who almost put effort, almost make it feel easy and natural.

But almosts aren’t natural.

We have this ocean full of hope inside us, and all the feeling of love and affection, that we are trying to give to someone who does not want to hold it. We are trying to convince someone that we are worthy of being chosen. We are trying hard to please someone, so they don’t abandon us in the middle of the night. We are trying to engage in meaningless sex in a bid to woo them, but that space in the heart is still empty. And when nothing works, we move on to the next almost.

Been there, done that? Now sit and remind yourself that you deserve to feel that someone is excited to be with you, that someone is endlessly committed to you, that you are still someone’s priority after a bad day at work, that someone wants to build something concrete and foundational with you, that someone wants to see you happy, that someone wants to meet all your hopes with action, that someone who really sees you, that someone who is not afraid to walk with you, that someone who embraces your flaws, that someone who will choose you. And that someone who will stay forever.

Have you been in almost relationships too? What is your take on the millennial relationships? What made you enter into one? Or what made you abandon one? More importantly, was it all consensual? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

Xx, AG